Lifestyle - It's Ok Just To Be "Still" July 10 2017, 0 Comments
Every year in January for as far back as I can remember, I have set myself a list of things to achieve and projects I want to get done in the following six to twelve months ahead, and usually I enjoy this and ticking of each achievement and project as I go.
But for the past two years, life has thrown me a curveball within my personal family circumstances, that we could not have predicted or foreseen, and with this has come added trauma, stress and responsibilities, added to this I had just started my fledging career in the wedding world and needed to get my business off the ground with the usual bombardment of business products and services to sort out, social media, blogging content, being visible, networking events, styled shoots and trying to be everything and everywhere at once work wise, whilst also still giving 110% and being there for my family, and the deeply trying and emotional time we are still currently dealing with, and then restricting my business model to deal with all this.
It is safe to safe this has all left me feeling devastated, lost, lonely, hopeless and very vulnerable as both my personal and business life has had to change to fit the current circumstances.
Since I was 18 and thrown into life as a mum and then a full time carer when 3 of my 4 children were diagnosed with both Autism and learning disabilities, I have always been focused on the needs and the future plans of others, and therefore have never really lived within the moment, so I did not appreciate the life I had or indeed the small and rare joys or moments in time life did bring.
And today in business especially an online business where you have to be visible and present everywhere from Facebook to Twitter, Instagram to Pinterest, Blogging to networking, where you have to be constantly updating your website and content, being the editor cook and chief bottle washer of your business if you are a solepreneur like me, it is so easy to think I should be doing this, or I need to be doing that to be successful, and for me especially as I care so much, I hate to think I am letting people down, it can be hard to just let go when you are scared to show the world your true inner self, your heart and soul and your vunerability.
But feeling like this has made me sit down, and really think about what I do want, I don't want to worry that if I take the odd day off, or I don't blog for a week, or post on social media daily, that people will blame me, hate me or unfollow me or not buy my products, because I am being human, with just 24 hours in a day, most of them spent taking care of others.
So I've decided to stop... stop worrying and working towards a goal that no longer nurtures me, my heart or my soul.
Stop thinking well once I am successful it will all be ok, define success anyway as its different for everyone right? and my success or what I class as successful or what I want to achieve is a different goal to yours, does that matter?
P.S my goal posts have changed and my business is slowly changing to reflect this, more heart, more soul and more creativity, can I get a hell yeah.
Stop worrying about the future or what might be, I cannot predict it and only I can plan for my future and what I want.
Stop comparing myself to others, I am rocking it on my own terms and am as good as anyone else.
This does not mean I am giving up or forgetting my dreams, I'm not far from it, but from now on, it's going to be on my own terms and with humbled grace and as always a dash of sparkle.
I would love your thoughts, so please leave me a comment, and every once in a while allow your beautiful soul to be 'Still"
Hugs & Wishes